Dad:
This really hurts, and this is painful. Why would you ask me to do someone like that? You know I don't like hurting people and bringing any pain upon them. Okay, but I also no that I have hurt you and grieved you with my actions. So if a mannn or woman can feel that way that they do, I can only imagine what you must feel like when we, your children, hurt you. I know that I am not crazy, contrary to popular opinion!!! I am trusting you that which is done in secret will be revealed inn the open, let it be good or evil. That the Light will bring to light the things of the dark. I guess when you love someone, that person brings you both great pleasure and great painnnnn. They have that kind of affect on you.
Just as I can see the realm of possibilities in others, you see the possibilities that are within me through Christ. That is pretty cool. It really is. The possibilities with you are endless. There is nothing to impossible with you.
I am thankful that Hazel desires to protect me, but I know that you have your hand of protection upon me even more. Okay, so I don't need a husband, but I want a husbannd. I really don't know why I want one though, to tell you the truth. But you already knew that. I am afraid of being alone. I don't want to spend the rest of life being alone. I can be alone for awhile but a lifetime? Dad, that is a hard calling. Although I know that you can satisfy the void in the areas where I am feeling lonely.
Okay, well, I cannot allow what Hazel said consume my every thought or emotions. Whatever enemies are trying to get after me today, Dad, please tell them to leave me alone. I am not the one. I have just had an awesome 2 weeks being in your presence, experiencing your Holy Spirit. I am not going to allow the enemy to steal my joy or peace. Holy Spirit be thou my comforter and my strength. I want to laugh and smile today. I don't want to be burdened down with the cares of this world, but rather, cast those cares upon the shoulders of your Son Jesus Christ. Dad, forgive me for bringing you pain. Forgive me for when I chose the things of the world rather than you, an awesome relationship with you. I don't ever want to loose what I have experienced these past 2 weeks. Ever! I don't want to forsake you or leave you. You say that you will never leave nor forsake us, but oh how we do that to you.
You don't need me but you want me. You want to use me in a powerful way. I am scared of your power. Help me to both not be afraid and yet respect your awesome power.
Love,
Your daughter, Ameenah
Ps. Lookout for my mother. Let her know that I am okay today. Help her to not be worried. Help her to understand that this is all about you. That I am finally surrendering to your will. Let this be a time of rejoycing and dancing for one of her children. I pray that she experience dancing and rejoycing for all of her children, both she and her husband.
